November

Hello every body,
I’m sorry for how late this is coming to you all. November has come and gone and December is well on its way.

To start I would like to give a special thanks to all your letters and messages on my birthday. It was made very special indeed. Especially in this time past that has been of naming and claiming as well as giving thanks. There is so much to be thankful for even when at the time we can’t see how it is helpful.

For example when I was a little girl I remember that one of the last classes of the day was art. One day in class we were making crafts with hearts stuck back to back for hanging over the door way like mistletoe. Not being too gifted with scissors even at that age my hearts weren’t the same and so my end result was on the undesirable side. My art teacher at the time whose name is lost to memory came up to me looked over my project and said. “How ugly...” I went home crushed but instead of moping over a failed attempted my mother helped me try again. With help the second one was considerably better. That’s the best part about art, we can always try again.

At la Casita I had an opportunity to try again with Rodrigo the kid who threw Yogurt at me. He hadn’t been coming to la casita the days he knew I’d be there. But there he was one day and it was time for him to leave again, Emilce pointed out that he was not to leave until he said he was sorry. I stood with him in the door way waiting but he continued with the same far off look as before. For almost thirty minutes we stood there his father calling for him at the gate. In the end I said. “You know what Rodrigo, I don’t like what you did it made me feel bad and I want us to be friends. So even though you don’t want to say you’re sorry I still love you.” I kissed him on the fore head and sent him on his way. I don’t think he came often after that day but on the Thursday before my birthday he seemed happier and was even talking to me. When it was time to sit down to eat Emilce came up to him and said. “Today we’re going to say we’re sorry aren’t we?” He nodded yes, and in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear Emilce said “and anyone who tries to make fun of or bother him will have to apologize to him in front of every one!” Then Rodrigo sat next to me on my bench by the kitchen said “I’m sorry Kristina, kissed me on the cheek and ran back to his seat at the table to eat.
Things have been much better since then. I’ve even started singing at la casita a sign that I really do feel more comfortable.

A Very special Thanks Giving

Around thanks giving a former volunteer Rachel arrived to visit us at HUL. I got to hear stories of things that had happened back in the day and see how different things have come about with my being here. Her visit inspired new ideas that I hope to try soon but most importantly I was blessed by her visit in that I was able to celebrate Thanksgiving Day. I had forgotten and if she hadn’t been around I probably would have done nothing to commemorate. By her being there things were made different just as our being there at different times and places makes things different. So, for thanks giving dinner we made pancakes and sat around the table sharing good memories and photos. I was asked why people celebrate thanks giving and I shared that is was an act of appreciation from the pilgrims to the Native Americans for helping them survive in a new land. While I flipped pancakes I realized then that I held the same feeling here with my housemates who have taught me what it means to live here and for those of you as well who send me letters from time to time on how life continues and changes back home. Thank you.

So much more has happened here but I think I’ll keep November short and end with a poem that possesses better words than I can find to express what November has been about for me.

A Meditation on Birthing
By: Irja ASkola Finland

That even then
When crocuses are peeping up
I would keep in mind
That woman at the door of the full inn
Who ignored the cold facts
-yes there was no space
And forgot
The expected “no”
But simply said
The door of the stable
Is open
Go in, do
Take your rest
And with out knowing
She gave God’s son
A first home address.

That I would
remember
any human gesture
through me or to me
makes space devine.

God is born
Over and over again
Into the mangers of our lives.

That even then
When apple trees begin to blossom
I would keep in mind
Those three travelers
Who sensed the need
For a new beginning
And started to move
Not yet knowing
Where to go
And kept moving
Even if the direction was “wrong”
Further and further
From the royal center
They sought and found
Because they moved
But also knew
How to stop and be amazed
Who dared to realize
We have to revise our thinking
To break our word to Herod
And take another road

That I would remember
True searching
Brings an answer
Which is different.

Wrong may become right
The unexpected place
May be the real one
A commitment given
May be ruled out
By today’s itinerary
Which takes us down
Another road

That even then
When maple leaves are turning red
I would keep in mind
The people on the night shift
Together with their animals
Who in the midst of hard work
Got unexpected visitors.
Heaven dropped in on those
Who were not “the ones who knew”
Not smartly dressed
Respectfully silent, with prepared texts.

Their preparation was their life
Into which God wanted to enter
Rebridging earth and sky

That I would
remember
God keeps visiting
Angels appear
In the midst of our distress
Bringing the message
Into nightmares of our minds
The echo from the field
resounds
do not be afraid.



-@-



¡Saludos!

Perdónenme la demora en hacerles llegar esto. Noviembre vino y fue y el mes de diciembre va viento en popa.

Para comenzar quisiera agradecerle a todo el que me haya escrito o enviado mensaje para mi cumpleaños. Los mismos hicieron de mi día uno muy especial. Mas aun en este tiempo de nombrar y hacer me cargo finalmente de lo que Dios ha hecho de mi desde antes de formarme en la vientre de mi madre. Igualmente este ha sido época de dar gracias también y hay mucho porque dar gracias; aun si en el momento no podemos ver como lo que nos esta pasando nos pude servir de ayuda.

Por ejemplo:
Cuando era niña recuerdo que una de mis ultimas clases del día en la escuela elemental era la de arte. Un día en clase estábamos haciendo un guindalejo hecho de corazones pegados para darle un efecto tres dimensional. Mis habilidades con la tijera nunca han sido las mejores y menos a esa edad el resultado siendo que mis corazones no quedaran parejos y mi guindalejo terminara medio viroldo.

Mi maestra de arte para ese entonces cuyo nombre se ha perdido en la memoria vino a ver mi pequeña obra le dio vuelta y dijo: “Que feo…” No tengo que decirles que me fui a casa hecho pedacitos pero en vez de lamentar un trabajo sin excito mi madre me ayudo a rehacer mi proyecto. El segundo intento resulto ser mucho mejor que el primero, pero eso es lo bueno del arte siempre puede ser mejor, siempre podemos tratar de nuevo.

En la Casita Tuve también una segunda oportunidad con Rodrigo el niño que me tiro el yogur encima. Desde el incidente no había vuelto a la casita los días en que yo estaba pero un día ahí estaba obviándome. Nuevamente llego la hora de irse y Emilce le dijo: “ No te puedes ir sin pedirle perdón a Kristina!” Estuve con el en la entrada de la puerta hablándole pero seguía con la misma mirada vacía de la otra vez. Anduvimos así por alrededor de treinta minutos, en el fondo su padre lo llamaba para llevárselo a la casa.
En fin se tenia que ir así que le dijo: “Rodrigo, sabes que, no me gusta lo que hiciste me hizo sentir muy mal pero quiero que seamos amigos. Así que a pesar de que no me quieras pedir perdón te quiero igual.” Le di un beso en la frente y lo envié con su padre.
No creo haberlo visto muy a menudo después de ese encuentro pero el día jueves antes de mi cumpleaños estuve conciente de que estuviera es mas lo veía contento y hasta me había vuelto a hablar. Cuando llego la hora de sentarnos a comer de nuevo Emilce vino y le dijo: “¿Hoy vamos a pedir disculpas no?” Abrí los ojos bien grande y vi como afirmó con la cabeza. Entonces en voz alta para que todos al escucharan Emilce dijo: “…Y el que se burle o le diga algo a Rodrigo peor! Porque le va tener que pedir disculpas a el en frente de todo el grupo!”
Rodrigo se sentó al lado mió en el banco que queda al lado de la cocina se me acerco y dijo: “Perdón Kristina.” Me beso en el cachete y salio corriendo a la mesa para comer.
Desde ese entonces las cosas han mejorado. Es mas me he dado cuenta de que he empezado a cantar estando en la casita, una señal segura de que me siento un poco mas cómoda.




Un día de acción de gracias muy especial.

Cerca de el tiempo de acción de gracias vino a visitar una de las voluntarias que había servido en años anteriores vino a visitarnos en el HUL. Tuve la oportunidad de escuchar viejas historias de cosas que habían pasado durante su voluntariado. Al mismo tiempo pude ver como mi presencia ha cambiado y transcurrido con mí estar. Su visita inspiro nuevas ideas sobre lo que puedo hacer estando acá pero mas que nadad su visita sirvió como bendición para mi en que por ella estar pude celebrar el día de acción de gracias. Se me había hasta olvidado y capaz al ella no estar no hubiese hecho nada dejando que el día pasara como cualquier otro. Pero ella si estuvo y por el mero hecho de que estuviese las cosas eran diferentes de la misma manera nosotros cuando estamos presentes con los demás hacemos de ese lugar y situación uno diferente.

Así que para la cena de acción de gracias hicimos pancakes y sentados alrededor de la mesa compartimos buenos recuerdos y fotos. En un momento alguien me pregunto porque se celebra el día de acción de gracias. Compartí la historia de los peregrinos en los estados unidos que se morían de hambre y si no fuese por los nativos americanos que les enseñaron a sobrevivir en una tierra nueva capaz que la historia se hubiese escrito de otra manera. Luego en agradecimiento hicieron una gran fiesta y cena de agradecimiento. Mientras hacia pancakes en el sartén me di cuenta de que guardaba un sentir muy parecido al de los peregrinos estando en HUL. Mis compañeros de casa me han ayudado y enseñado lo que necesito para poder sobrevivir acá lo mismo va para todos ustedes que me escriben de vez en cuando cantándome acerca de cómo la vida continúa y cambia en sus vidas. Gracias.

Mucho mas paso en el mes de Noviembre pero creo que esta vez si mantendré las cosas cortas dejándolas con un poema que describe con palabras que me faltan lo que ha sido este mes.
(El mismo esta en Ingles perdonen que no la haya podido traducir)
A Meditation on Birthing
By: Irja ASkola Finland

That even then
When crocuses are peeping up
I would keep in mind
That woman at the door of the full inn
Who ignored the cold facts
-yes there was no space
And forgot
The expected “no”
But simply said
The door of the stable
Is open
Go in, do
Take your rest
And with out knowing
She gave God’s son
A first home address.

That I would
remember
any human gesture
through me or to me
makes space divine.

God is born
Over and over again
Into the mangers of our lives.

That even then
When apple trees begin to blossom
I would keep in mind
Those three travelers
Who sensed the need
For a new beginning
And started to move
Not yet knowing
Where to go
And kept moving
Even if the direction was “wrong”
Further and further
From the royal center
They sought and found
Because they moved
But also knew
How to stop and be amazed
Who dared to realize
We have to revise our thinking
To break our word to Herod
And take another road

That I would remember
True searching
Brings an answer
Which is different.

Wrong may become right
The unexpected place
May be the real one
A commitment given
May be ruled out
By today’s itinerary
Which takes us down
Another road

That even then
When maple leaves are turning red
I would keep in mind
The people on the night shift
Together with their animals
Who in the midst of hard work
Got unexpected visitors.
Heaven dropped in on those
Who were not “the ones who knew”
Not smartly dressed
Respectfully silent, with prepared texts.

Their preparation was their life
Into which God wanted to enter
Rebridging earth and sky

That I would
remember
God keeps visiting
Angels appear
In the midst of our distress
Bringing the message
Into nightmares of our minds
The echo from the field
resounds
do not be afraid.